A Crossdresser, Some Weapons, A Demon and An Earl?
by barbershoppepole
Summary: First, you got some Liz and Patty. Then you add in the rest of the gang. Combine that with Ciel, Sebastian, Grell, William and the other cast? You've made a pretty good recipe for... DISASTER. What could Ciel and Sebastian be looking for? What is Kid hiding? And why is Grell so freaking GAY?


Chapter One: The Strange New Roommates

It was a sunny afternoon, around 4P.M. and Liz was sitting in her bedroom painting her nails a nice, red color. She tried to tune out the things being shouted downstairs. Patty and Kid were arguing, again, about something dumb. Probably symmetry. Patty must've knocked over something in the house, causing Kid's OCD to flare, making him go crazy, again. Liz waited for her nails to dry before deciding to go down there and make peace between the two.

As she walked into the living room, she almost tripped on Patty's favorite giraffe, which was lying on the floor with a broken neck. Liz sighed, _that's the last time I get HER a giraffe. _She noticed that Kid had calmed down and was lounging on the couch, perfectly symmetrical of course, dressed in his usual garb, plus an apron and black rubber gloves. Liz idly wondered what had been going on before she got down there, but didn't get far into her thoughts. She was busy staring at the guests on their other couch.

They were an odd pair; one was a small boy with dark blue hair and an eye patch. The other was a pale man with dark black, messy hair. They both looked quite attractive, but Kid, on the other hand, didn't. _I guess they aren't symmetrical enough for him. _His face was pale, his fists clenched, and he looked about ready to kill someone. The small boy spoke suddenly. "Hello. I am Ciel Phantomhive. I hail from England and I was hoping you would open your home to my butler and I-"

Liz stopped him with a hand. "Listen, dude, I don't think that can happen. You see, Kid has a thing about symmetry. Now, you have ONE eye patch-"

"Would you prefer I wear two?"

"-and that's not gonna fly. We need him to be able to walk and…attend…classes…" the reason Liz's speech was cut short was that the butler had gotten down on one knee in front of her and taken her hand. Ciel was smirking behind him; sure that Sebastian could convince her otherwise.

"Miss, I can solve all this, if you'll please give us a chance to stay in your home. You see, I..." he was giving Liz such a demonic look, the rest of his words were starting to fade. His eyes flashed red and Liz's own widened, and she accidentally flashed into her gun form. Kid shot up (ha-ha XD) and looked down at her. He carefully picked her up and held her close, eyeing the butler warily.

"Fine. You may stay. BUT, you must be symmetrical. I want your hair even and we will be shopping for symmetrical clothes later. Be down here at 8 o'clock sharp." Kid stomped out of the room, still clutching Liz. He made it upstairs before Ciel even realized they were gone. He was still in shock that the girl turned into a gun.

Ciel felt Sebastian shaking him, pulling him out of his thoughts. "Bocchan, are you okay? Our plan worked. I think it was easy getting in here. Though, the way it happened was…interesting." He froze, hoping Ciel would talk to him instead of staring blankly at the doorway. "I hope that we find-" Sebastian was cut off by Ciel angrily smacking him.

"Shut UP, Sebastian. They might hear us." Ciel glared at the doorway the reaper "Kid" and his two weapons "the Thompson sisters" disappeared through. His demon butler sighed and stood up. With a shake of his dark head, he left the room. Ciel sighed and rubbed his throbbing forehead. Already, he wished this mission would be over and done with.

With a crash, a red blur flew through the front door, a cry of "SEBBY~" on its lips. Ciel stuck his hand out to trip the nuisance.

The transsexual man flipped over the young man's hand and landed on his face, making his bright red glasses go askew."Hey! Shorty, why'd you do that?"

"Grell, why are you here?" Ciel started rubbing his forehead again.

"I asked first. You rumpled my jacket and now I'm frazzled. Do you KNOW how hard it is to breathe in a corset? Wait...don't answer that. I know you do. Where is Sebastian? I had darling William tell me where you were and I want to SEE HIM!" Grell was leaning towards Ciel's face and squealed in shock as he was pulled back into Sebastian's arms. He swooned and passed out because he was so in love.

Sebastian dropped Grell on the floor and grabbed Ciel, pulling him into a kiss. Ciel had been looking worried when Sebastian pulled Grell into his arms, and he had to calm his Bocchan's nerves. They accidentally stepped on Grell, waking him up. He jumped and gasped in horror, running from the house.

Sebastian put Ciel down on the floor and held onto his waist to keep him from falling over. Then, he kissed him on the head, leaving the room. Ciel glared at his stupid butler's back and huffed out of the room.

Meanwhile, Kid, Liz and Patty were upstairs. Liz had flashed back into her human form, but was flushed head-to-toe. Kid was rubbing calm circles on her back, and Patty was on the floor, drawing Liz pictures of dead giraffes. "And, see, Lizzy? There's a gun wound showing how Kid had me shoot into the ASSHOLE. Hee hee~."

Liz stared blankly at her sister, numb to her laughter. She couldn't get past the butler's red eyes. She heard shouts downstairs but couldn't bring herself to listen. Kid's ears perked up at the sound of "CORSET" but he couldn't leave Liz in this state. He hoped that their new "guests" hadn't found his secret stash of women's clothes.

Yes. He, Death the Kid, was a crossdresser.


End file.
